P.S. I Love You

           There are many movies that come to mind when thinking about the loss of a main character. The one that moved me the most was “P.S. I Love You.” It begins by showing a young couples day to day life– where the wife is constantly complaining and worrying about the future; while her husband was more laid back and fun loving. The movie fast forwards to a bar scene where friends and family are gathered to celebrate his passing of a brain tumor. In doing this, the media skipped right over the whole dying process. In fact, the movie never showed the initial diagnosis, treatment, his suffering and his actual death. He knew his death would make her lose her will to live, so he planned for notes, cakes, and activities to be delivered to her over the next year. Knowing he wanted her to move on, he encouraged her to go out of her comfort zone and view life more optimistically.

            This movie has inspired me to: not sweat the small stuff, appreciate every day and never take your loved ones for granted. I’ve learned even if you’re faced with adversity there may be better opportunities that present themselves which may not have been recognized before. Through this movie I now fear death less knowing that our loved ones will always have an influence on our lives, even after they are gone. In “P.S. I Love You” his death was celebrated and instead of mourning he wanted his family and friends to focus on the good times they shared together and continue to see life as he did.

In our American culture we deny feelings that are painful– death being one of these. This allows us to emotionally distance ourselves from the inevitable. In “P.S. I Love You” death and dying were never addressed which is how the media often deals with this subject. Keeping the audience entertained is their main focus without dwelling on real pain, suffering and emotion. They accomplished this by not always use direct language when addressing death, instead using terms like, “passed on” or “no longer with us” but the overall idea is understood.  

            Each of us has different life experiences which influence our outlook on death and the way we grieve. No two people are alike.

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4 thoughts on “P.S. I Love You

  1. Let me say first off, that I loved this movie! I thought it was a sweet romantic film. I do agree with you about the part that they do tend to just skip over the whole part of death to get to the rest. And I did find it interesting that they celebrated his death instead of mourning it. I loved that he knew he was going to die and made all of these letters etc. for her too! Overall it is so sweet and heart warming to know that even after death, love can still live on through the work he left behind. ❤ Gives me hope to not be as scared to leave the ones I love, and to show them how much you love them now.

  2. I really liked some of the points that you brought up in your last blog. I totally agree with you when you mentioned that just like in that movie, that media also likes to avoid death as much as possible, when in reality it is a pretty common part of life. That just goes to show that we are in fact a death denying society, whether that is for good or for bad. We all are going to die one day and have several people who are close to us who will die as well. We just need to enjoy life and take it as it comes and try not to focus on the inevitable because there is simply nothing that we can do when it is own time to go as well.

  3. I’ve watched this movie religiously and never realized much they never put in the actual death of the husband. I agree when you explain how we deny the feelings of death. As a society, I believe that we know death is inevitable and will happen eventually. All of us have been in a situation with a friend or family member and if not, it will happen eventually. I believe that you are explaining that we do not deny death but we deny the feelings that become of it. Not having a scene of the actual death and hardship in the movie is a great example of how uncomfortable it is for us to see a loved one die. We do not want to go through the pain and grief therefore we completely take it out of the film. Even though the wife is in grief throughout the whole movie, you don’t actually see the death and the months of her suffering while he is in the hospital. Although we deny feelings, we choose to only see the optimistic feelings that come about after his death. We see this because it heals the wife and it is more of an enjoyable moment for her.

  4. P.S. I love You is such a great movie and now that we are in this Death & Dying class, I have a much different view on the death that happened in that movie. I never really realized that the husband’s actually dying was never showed in the movie. It was almost like I could see the process in my imagination yet the movie itself never focused on it. The grieving of his wife was definitely shown, and I think it is still so powerful even though we as the audience never really got to know the husband. I think, like you said, this movie really does make you have a different outlook on death. For me, it too makes me want to appreciate my loved ones and not “sweat the small stuff”. Even though the media didn’t emphasize the husband’s actual dying process, his death did impact us because of what came after it. We were able to see how the main character mourned the loss of her husband and what that grievance entailed. As a society it makes us aware of some of the ways people can deal with death and this movie sure shows it in a unique way.

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