Dealing with death

I have been working in healthcare for a year now and in many facilities. I see people dying or about to die on a daily basis. At first it kinda made me take a step back and re-evaluate the situation and not let emotions change what the specific purpose of my job is to do. After dealing with it for a year now I still treat every patient the same regardless of what they are going through, but I do not get as involved. I will never forget the first time I had a patient tell me straight faced, ”I want to die.” He was tired of taking medications, dealing with pain, and going through treatment.


I truly understand why Sara wanted to extend her life. She wanted to be a mother and did not want to let it go at any cost, even if that meant suffering till her dying day. The treatment gave her hope and extended her life to be a mother that much longer.


I some times wonder if hospitals are really in the business of making patients better or just really want to be a not for profit facility trying to keep patients there longer to collect on insurance and “kick backs” from big pharm simply my opinion. Medicines may pro long life given the specific circumstances per individual, but I also think it provides false hope. Since we are a death denying country I see patients put so much faith in doctors and pills just because they are now at a hospital everything should be ok, but to often I see that it is not. To often I see return of patients and I always ask my self how much longer is this person willing to be subjected to treatment that may or may not be helping.


I will leave it at this. This summer I worked at a facility and with a patient five days a week for about two months. He had inoperable cancer due to the age of the individual and his body just would not make it through surgery. I slowly watched him die a little more every day. He would take his pills perform his treatment and spend majority of the day in a confused state in his bed. This individual told me he wanted to die he was done and he just wanted to be at peace. One day I arrived at work and they said he had gone to the hospital. I looked at my co-worker and said to him, “He is not coming back hopefully he can find his peace.” This individual did pass. Once I was told the news I smiled told the same co-worker, “He is in a far better place with no more suffering.” We all have our reasons  for death, but until we are face to face with it we will never know if  our opinion will change or stay the same.


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