Final Blog

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As the fall semester was quickly approaching, I realized at the last minute I needed one more class to graduate. I chose death and dying. Not because I didn’t know anything about death, or that I wanted to learn more. I simply chose death and dying as a course because I’ve been through it, I’ve experienced a death, but mostly, a part of me wanted to understand why death happens. I was hoping to be able to heal from my dad’s death and learn to forgive myself for having the feelings I did towards death. Honestly, I had no idea what this class was going to entail; but, walking out of this class I am a lot better than I was when I first walked in.

Recently, we learned of Paul Walkers death. We learned that he died in the one thing he loved most, a race car. His body was burned and the only way they were able to figure out whose body was which was by their teeth.  Death is inevitable, that’s all there is to it. You can’t stop death and you can’t stop someone from dying no matter how much you try bargaining. Fact is, everyone is going to die, you’re going to love someone so much and one day they’re not going to be there anymore. Yes, you’re going to grieve, but that’s normal.

December 11th, will be 7 years since my dad’s death. It has taken 7 years for me not to learn that I don’t need to hold guilt inside me. That everything I did and said was a natural reaction. I felt guilty for not crying at the funeral, I felt guilty for not going to his hospital room one last time, I blamed my mom for not calling me to come to the hospital; but instead, called me to say goodbye. This class has taught me that it’s ok for me to let go of that guilt. It’s taught me that there is no wrong or right way of grieving. That everyone is going to die and everyone is going to react and handle death in his or her own way.  

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3 thoughts on “Final Blog

  1. I took this class for the same reason. My dad passed away 5 years ago, and I really wanted to learn that everything that I went through, and still go through today, is natural. I had a lot of anger when my dad died because he died of lung cancer and never smoked a day in his life. All I thought was that it was not fair. Most people still have their parents around as they grow up. My dad passed away when I was 13. At every school event, everyone had both their parents, and I didn’t. I would always be very sad at every event because he was not there. At every prom I went to, my sporting events, and my high school graduation, all I could think was that I wished he was still here. I still get upset thinking about it, but after this class, I have learned that it is okay to be upset. People grieve in different ways. Death is inevitable, and people are going to experience more than once in their lives, but we just have to keep moving forward and cherish the moments we have with our loved ones while we can.

  2. Even though time has passed, you have my sympathies for the loss of your father. I’m sorry that you had to experience one of the worst types of losses. I took death and dying for the same general reason; because I lost my best friend back in 2008 on Valentine’s day. I remember every moment of that day clearly. The voice of my friend Anna talking to me over the phone while I was in math class my sophomore year of high school telling me that my best friend, Taylor had died in the hospital and they don’t know why. It took months to finally stop being depressed and angry about it. I was mad at myself because him and I previously got into an argument 2 weeks before his death and I never apologized for the things I said to him. Sometimes I still think that death is unfair and cruel. I still argue with myself about this: Why was my best friend taken away at the young age of 16? years have passed and I still miss him and think about him every day. Actually, his birthday was 2 days ago, he would have been 21. I still don’t understand it but this class has helped me come at peace with the realization that everyone is going to eventually die and that it was just Taylor’s time to be taken to a much more beautiful, peaceful, enjoyable place.

  3. I’m so sorry about your dad! It must have been a really hard time for you and your family, but your right about one thing, and that is death is inevitable. You can not stop death from happening and you cant stop someone from dying. My family had gone through something similar to your family and there was a lot of guilt that I held on too as well. It’s been four years since this situation has occurred and I still hold onto some of those guilts. After taking this class, it showed and thought me how to let go of that guilt and that it is okay to let go of it. Taking this class had taught me a lot of new information about death that i did not know and I am really glad that I took this class.

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