Understanding Loss

I took Death and Dying because I really wanted to learn about the emotional aspects of death. My father passed away 5 years ago, and I still get upset over it on a regular basis. I was hoping this class would help me to understand how people grieve, and that it is okay to grieve. 

When my dad died, it completely broke my heart. I was a daddy’s girl completely, and he died when I was only 13 years old. My family did not tell me all of the details about his death, so I was mainly left out of the loop. My dad had stage 4 lung cancer and never smoked a day in his life. I had a lot of anger for a while about his death because I thought it was so unfair. My dad passed away one year after his cancer was diagnosed and was on hospice in our home for the last three months of his life.

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This class has shown me that it is completely okay and healthy to grieve. It is not okay to keep everything bottled up. This class has taught me the phases of grief, and that there is a “culminating period of acceptance” where the bereaved person moves forward with a life that is irrevocably changed. This is where I am. My life has completely changed because of this event, but I am still trying to move forward with my life. I still wish I could change it, but that is life. Loved ones are going to pass, and people are going to grieve. Our culture is a death denying culture that tries to not think about the death of loved ones or the death of themselves. Death is inevitable, so cherish the moments you have with your loved ones. This class has taught me to live every day like it is my last because you never know when it could be over. I am very glad I took this class because it has helped me understand my loss and my own personal views on death.

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4 thoughts on “Understanding Loss

  1. First off, let me say I am sorry for your lost and God Bless. From reading others posts on the blog, I see you are not alone. I find it therapeutically interesting and beautiful for you and the others who were willing to share their stores of lost with us in the class. A beautiful and heartwarming picture you posted. For your father to pass of that disease is unfair and hard to understand especially since you were at a young age. I know I would feel exactly the same as you because I am a daddy’s girl as well. I am glad that this course was able to give you a better understanding of death and dying. Your grieving is completely understandable. However, as bad as it hurts, I know for sure that your father is in Heaven watching over you and your family every day with love in his eyes and heart. Things happen in life that is hard, unfair, and we cant understand. But always realize that God is looking out for your father now, and that he is at peace and no longer suffering. Much peace, love and blessings to you and your family.

  2. Let me start off by expressing how sorry I am, and thank you for sharing this post. Tonight I got horrible news that a family friend had passed so suddenly. I can’t even begin to tell you how I felt, I was just with her on Thanksgiving telling her I would see her soon. I guess I was looking for some type of outlet and I stumbled upon your post. You are the perfect example of saying that it’s healthy to grieve. I am just so beside myself, that I kinda kept everything in.

    Once again, I really am sorry for the passing of your father, I can’t imagine how you felt, but to keep moving forward makes you so incredibly strong. I still can’t wrap my head around how this world works, and why bad things happen to good people. Thank you again for showing me that it’s ok to grieve by sharing your personal story.

    XO

    • Thank you so much, and I am really sorry for your loss, too. It’s always going to be upsetting to think about, but it will get a little better in time, I promise.

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